a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize