By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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