all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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