3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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