Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
