She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
