so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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