We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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