why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
