dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
