I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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