just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
