The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
