Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
