My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
