this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
