She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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