I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
