saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
