I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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