hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
