Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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