I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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