Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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