Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize