I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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