just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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