So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
