I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
