the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
