Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
