She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
