Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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