I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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