you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
