Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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