have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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