If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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