We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
