didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize