you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
