can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
