I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
