I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
