I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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