Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
