It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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