Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
