Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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