I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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