i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
